This is dedicated to the dumb, obnoxious blonde in the straw cowboy hat at the Blue Rodeo concert

I enjoy music.  All shapes and sizes.  With the exception of opera, and of course… rap.  Rap has to be the worst excuse for music that exists on the planet in my opinion, but some people enjoy it so…

In my time I have attended many concerts and seen some incredible acts.  One of the most impressive performances was by Bob Seger back in ’73.  Yep, that was a long time ago.

I was living in Florida at the time and the Bob Seger System was scheduled to appear at the Southside Drive-in.  That’s right, at a drive-in movie theatre.  The Bob Seger System played until dusk and then the movies came on.  The films scheduled were the Beatles, Let It Be and another flick.  But we didn’t come to see movies, we came to rock with Seger.

And rock we did!  Not only did Seger have the audience jumpin’, the band encored twice!  What a show!  I often marvel at how fortunate I was to see that performance, because even though Bob Seger had several albums out, up until that point his greatest hit, Night Moves, was still a couple of years away.  Once that song made him an international star there was no way he’d ever appear at the small venue that SW Florida town was, let alone at a drive-in.  (Which has long since been torn down and replaced with a strip mall)

I’ve seen the Eagles and Jefferson Airplane, Deep Purple and ZZ Top, Stixx, Tom Petty and even Chuck Berry.  I’ve enjoyed those artists and many more, and all those shows rocked!  I love the formation of the concert setting whether it be indoors or out.  I’ve relished the occasion each and every time and consider myself a rock ‘n’ roll concert veteran. 

So what is this post about?  It is about a dumb blonde in a straw cowboy hat that loudly hooted at all the wrong moments and nearly caused me to burst a blood vessel.

I don’t know about you, but when I spend $$ to see an artist, I want to hear the music.  I can dig the applause, the cheers, the whistles, the hoot ‘n’ and a-hollar ‘n’ and the general hysteria that follows a song, but not during the song!  DUH!

Well, here’s what happened.

Blue Rodeo is a Canadian band that my BB has enjoyed for many years.  In fact, lots of Canadians have enjoyed them for many years.  But me, well… since I am an American, I hadn’t had the pleasure to hear them until recently.  They appeared here last friday night.  My beautiful girl purchased tickets well in advance at a cost of several $$ a piece.  I don’t know about you, but these days, several $$ comes sparingly.  $$ doesn’t grow on trees!  Still, my limited exposure to Canadian artists made me feel that it would be worth the time, trouble and $$, because I want to know more about Canadian culture and music that isn’t mainstream, at least… not where I come from.  And to share that with my BB is priceless.

Anyway, as I have stated earlier… I have gone to concerts in the past and am fully aware of crowd behavior.  But this was different.

As soon as Blue Radio came on stage the audience roared it’s approval.  BB and I nodded approvingly at each other and were all set to enjoy the evening we had planned on several months before.  And here it was upon us!  Our seats were in the upper level, the view was perfect and we were just off the platform near the exit.  We could enjoy the show and be one of the first ones out!  Perfect!  But then, a distraction…  Loud, obnoxious and indifferent.  It came from a blonde in a straw cowboy hat.  And she was standing right behind us.

Like I said, I can appreciate rounds of applause and shouts of encouragement, etc.  But this woman was just plan rude.  As the musicians began their selections she’d “WOOOOOO!  WOOOOO!”  just to hear herself echo.  She’d clap loudly and shriek, “WOOOO HOOOOO!”  and whistle during the performance!  I looked at BB and she smiled and said calmly, “We are at a concert…” and I nodded in resignation.  Perhaps the blonde cowgirl was just winding down and would cool off as the show progressed.  But I was WRONG!

Soon the bimbo was joined by a guy and they were talking and laughing and carrying on, during the performance!  Honestly folks, I’m not a prude and I am all in favor of a good time and people blowing off steam, but this was just too much.  I endured it through one more number.  When the applause ebbed and the arena quieted down and Jim Cuddy began a soulful ballad, this woman started again.  “WOOOO HOOO!  WOOOO!  HOOOOOO!”  during the performance!  And I erupted…

BB tried to calm me and hold me back but I was beyond the point of consolation.  I leaped out of my seat and vaulted over the couple next to us, into the aisle and up to the platform where the guy and the blonde bimbo stood.  With all the finesse of a linebacker I crowded my way at the end of the railing, forcing the startled man to quickly step aside… and then I stood there like a rock, next to him… waiting for a reaction. 

He quieted right down, even though I did not look at or speak to him.  I’m not a violent man, but if my buttons are pushed…  The blonde cowgirl continued for the remainder of the song Jim Cuddy was singing and held her ground for another song or two, then they both finally left.  But not until she slammed the handrail as hard as she could with her fists.

I remained standing for the rest of the concert, just a few feet away from where BB was sitting.  I know she wasn’t too happy with my less than subdued reaction to the annoying blonde in the straw cowboy hat, but she did enjoy the remainder of evening without the distraction.  She later told me so.

I also met a man there named Murray.  Murray sat at the end of our row at the aisle where the steps were.  Murray was an elderly gentleman, possibly near 70 and he was there with his wife.  Murray used a cane and had a brace on one leg.  He had to stretch his leg out because of the brace and stood off away from his seat earlier on so that other, younger people could squeeze through to their seats further in the row.  Out of consideration.  I admired that.  Murray had a moustache and wore a hat that reminded me of a British aristocrat.  Towards the end of the concert, Murray had to stand and stretch out his leg.  I invited him to come up and stand next to me, which he did. 

I introduced myself and then apologized to Murray for having leaped across his wife and him, but explained that I just couldn’t sit there any longer having to endure that racket from the blonde cowgirl.  Murray told me he has been a Blue Rodeo fan for 20 years and knew some of the history of the band.  And Murray understood my behavior, too; he explained it succintly…

“I didn’t pay all that money to have to sit and listen to that!”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

So here’s to you, blonde woman in the straw cowboy hat.  I hope you had fun.  I saw you at the foot of the stage when Jim Cuddy invited those who wanted to dance to come on up.  And as the band started pouring it on and the energy of the enthusiastic crowd was at it’s peak,  I could see you waving your hat in the air and having a good time.  And that’s the way it should be… that’s the reason we all came.

But please remember that we came to enjoy the music.  If I want to hear hog calling, I can always go back to Iowa.



2 Responses to “This is dedicated to the dumb, obnoxious blonde in the straw cowboy hat at the Blue Rodeo concert”

  1. chrislipjournal Says:

    Good for you! Though of course the obnoxious blonde is no doubt telling her friends, “I don’t know what that guy’s problem was… I certainly didn’t do anything.” And she probably honestly believes that.

    Rob Hanson at Chrislip Journal

  2. Chantal Says:

    I missed holding your hand during “Five Days In May”, and “Head Over Heels”, and especially the finale of “Lost Together”…. I know that had you NOT reacted, she would have probably gone on longer with her loud & obnoxious behaviour. She was very disruptive because everyone around us was giving her looks, and she was oblivious, which probably means she was a little out of it. As I sat there alone throughout the concert, though, I kept thinking “Couldn’t someone else have said something to her instead?” But I knew I was thinking selfishly…..I just missed having you beside me while one of my favourite bands played my favourite songs.
    THAT’S what I was there for…..

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