Born Laughing Out Loud

My French Canadian sweetheart fills me with admiration and awe.  I hope you guys never tire of hearing me wax on about her.  To sing her praises is to expound on the enrichment of love and she continues to inspire me to do so just in being herself. 

For example;  I have enjoyed writing since I was very young but the exercise of it came sporadically to me.  She, too, is a writer and since our meeting I have increased my output by volumes.  Is it more than merely drivel?  Possibly not, but to her that resurgence (however meager and trite) is the holy grail because it comes from within, inspired of my heart.  To have her approval in that regard makes me a King (or a Brown, an Atwood, or a Thoreau)  Little things mean everything to me.  I write more, I read more, I think more.  Is this dangerous? No.  Is this healthy?  I think so.  Is it exciting? Yes!  Thrilling?  Absolutely! 

I just bought a book the other day, Born Standing Up by Steve Martin.  You remember him, right?  The “wild and crazy guy?”  I am 3/4 the way through it and I have enjoyed learning about the man that helped create in me the ability to laugh at myself… at myself!   To hear Steve describe himself as insecure and struggling to find his identity as a comedian makes me think of how we all are looking for something to make us happy. 

There is this inward desire to search out something to make us laugh and Steve had to find his routine amusing first.  It is interesting to note that much of his stand up was initially rejected.  Steve was constantly trying out new material, then keeping record of what worked and what didn’t.  Sometimes his stuff was too cerebral and Steve found that with his performance he would be bombing night after night.  But the staff… the very waitresses at the night clubs that heard his jokes, laughed and found them amusing each time Steve repeated them.  That was his barometer. 

Steve Martin’s audience had to catch up to him.

Do you ever think about babies and their ability to laugh?  How the first time you hear them erupt it is like a reassurance that everything is right in the world?  They haven’t just heard a great “baby” joke or seen something funny on television.  The family pet or a picture on the wall is unrecognizable to them.  When you come up and go, “goochy goochy goooo…” they don’t think you are clever or childish or even remotely close to a stand up comedian.  But they laugh because they feel good, life has made this emergence unto their developing conscientiousness and the realization of it has produced them happy.

I think love is the same way.  Like searching for happiness, love gives us the ability to see ourselves happy… it is the re-emergence of our inner baby’s self awareness.  Laughing… not at the external things, but at ourselves… with ourselves.  The things outside (jokes, sight gags, bawdy humor, etc.) may coax it out of us, but subconsciously it is there all along waiting to be released.  Only one word can describe it’s effect…

Joy.  Without love there is no joy.

Laughter is a joyous sound.  You’ve heard the expression, “He loved to laugh?”  If you knew of a person or know a person that that description fits, that person knew/knows joy. 

I wonder sometimes if my fair one really knows what a joy she is to me.  We are miles apart, and time has separated us from the moments we continue to play over in our minds.  But I have comfort in the knowledge that we share the same sun each day.  My sentiments are carried to her on the gentle breezes.  She inspires the migrating birds of the North to return them to me with their song.  She is my joy… I adore her.

I laugh alone… because I am catching up to her.  



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3 Responses to “Born Laughing Out Loud”

  1. msdane Says:

    Where are you doing all this writing? It certainly isn’t on your blog or email to your sisters.

    My dear, you know I love you and that you are one of my favorite people in the whole world. I want only your happiness and well-being. That being said, you sound more love-sick than in love. Perhaps you are love-sick since you and she have to be separated at this time. I hope you don’t take offense at this, you sound like poetry from Robert Browning to Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I hope your situation is resolved soon, although I do feel sad that you will be in another country.

    You will always have my support in all your endeavors.

  2. chrisfiore5 Says:

    funny… my fair one compares our relationship to Robert and Elizabeth, too; and that, in my eyes, is not a bad thing.

    further… the words of the heart are written on many scrolls, not all are discernible to the casual onlooker.


  3. Cyndi Says:

    Oh please, of course they are discernible, how can you say they may not be? I’m not stupid, I’ve been in love, I know what it feels like. Besides, I’m your sister–how can I be a “casual onlooker?”

    I agree, Elizabeth and Robert wrote some of the most beautiful poetry of their time and it still stands the test of time today. So no, it is not a bad thing.

    I guess my concern was the exposure of your feelings so much in such a public forum, but if it doesn’t bother you, I guess it shouldn’t bother me; even though all this sweetness is giving me a cavity. (LOL)
    Love ya.

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