Economic Stimulus Plan

I have my own take on a new economic stimulus plan which I shall henceforth refer to as my own ESP.

My own ESP would be non-partisan and not favor any political clime or agenda but just put the oomph needed to jump start the nation into a production frenzy that would rival the golden age of industry.

First of all we would have to come to grips with the fact that, yes Virginia, there is a recession and then get King George to admit it. For more information on Bush’s approval rating check out:  Then the road to recovery would get off to a fast start because people would know what they have to do, i.e. spend money.

How will people know what to do if we keep tip toeing around the obvious? My dictionary says a recession is quote: difficult economic conditions. I might go out on a limb here by asking this but, isn’t that what we have now? Unless, of course, you are Exxon-Mobil. You remember Exxon? the sign of the double cross?

During the last recorded quarter Exxon-Mobil reported a 40 billion dollar profit while the rest of the world struggled with high gas prices and higher fuel bills. Exxon-Mobil only supplies about 3% of the world’s oil. So I did a little quick math:

3% @ 40 bil = 13.333 bil per 1% profit for 1 quarter.

Now if we go with a more conservative quarterly profit, say a measly 10 billion, that would equal 3.333 bil per 1%. For ease of argument lets just say each 1% of the supplied world’s oil reaped 3 bil per 1%. Are you with me so far? That would mean that, on a conservative estimate based on 3 bil per 1% of the world’s supplied oil there was a gross profit of 300 billion dollars for one quarter. A quarter is 1/4 of the year so as we continue on that train of thought, 300 bil x 4 equals $1,200,000,000,000. That’s one trillion, two hundred billion dollars profit for the year 2007 based on my conservative estimate.


Okay, hmm… how do I know this is accurate? I don’t… it could be more. IT COULD BE MORE!!!

So what does this have to do with my own ESP? Well, you don’t have to have extra sensory perception to know that the future looks bleak when people don’t have money to spend and thus keep our economy afloat.

The economic package that just got passed by the United States Congress was for 160 billion dollars. About a 100 goes out in rebate checks and the rest will be in the form of tax breaks for businesses. Businesses like Exxon-Mobil? I don’t know. My friend Keith (yeah, the one from the Hemingway stories… you thought I made that stuff up, didn’t you?) says that the oil companies have to make a large profit otherwise there is no incentive for them to go out and get the oil. More on that later….

To me all this talk about billions and trillions and daffodil-ions gets me all numb with numbers to where my head hurts. But then I remembered something I read on the Internet (it was on there, you have to believe it) having to do with the number… one billion. It said…

A billion seconds ago it was 1959

A billion minutes ago it was the time of Christ

A billion hours ago it was the Stone Age

So a billion, even though the word is thrown about by politicians like so much loose change, is actually a large number. A billion dollars is a lot of money to us poor folk. But is 160 billion enough? and is it going to the right people? If one industry in one fiscal year earns $1,200,000,000,000 dollars, I’m thinking 160 billion is just a drop in the bucket. And we need big help fast. So here is the plan…

Give people MORE money to spend, but not just any people. Give money to the people that will spend it.

1) I say give vast amounts of money to teenagers. They don’t have a plan for the future because they are young and feel they have all the time in the world to make more money. So an extra million now could just be blown on X-Boxes and musical downloads, pizza, movies and automobiles with fancy rims and $300 tires. Teenagers have their whole life ahead of them and would have plenty of time to work on their second million later on.

2) Give vast amounts of money to retired persons. They’ve earned it, they’ll spend it. Why hand it over to greedy children who ungratefully go about their business and ignore the needs of their elders? Grandparents need revenge and would gleefully spend a million dollars without giving it a second thought. What have they got to lose? They’ll be dead in a few years anyway. So they’ll buy Viagra and go on cruises, they’ll go sightseeing and buy RVs, they’ll play golf and buy polyester. They’ll spend a million dollars like there is no tomorrow because, for them, there may not be.

3) Give vast amounts of money to homosexuals. Imagine the influx of known gays and lesbians there would be if each one were to receive a million dollars just for making the declaration? The closets would be cleaned out across the country. They’d spend their money with wild abandon on things like clothes, fine wine, music and jewelry. Art galleries would thrive. Money spent on remodel projects would flood into the construction industry and the housing market would once again boom.

4) Give vast amounts of money to poor minorities. A million dollars spent on family needs like shoes and medicine, clothes and food, housing and transportation. A million dollars to spend on education, a million dollars to spend on being treated equally, a million dollars to spend for the rest of us to feel fair and just. Yes, minorities would spend their money and help the economy, too.

5) Don’t give money to anyone else.

There, that wasn’t too hard. 100 billion dollars would equal 100,000 millionaires! 1 trillion dollars would equal 1,000, 000 millionaires! Imagine the impact that would have on our economy if it was put into the proper hands. But it won’t happen that way. 100 billion dollars will be doled out like food stamps. People will line up in rebate soup kitchens and that 100 billion will trickle and fade, hardly making a ripple.

Oh, and the logic behind oil companies having to make large profits otherwise there would be no incentive to produce more oil is bunk. Those people need gas to drive back and forth to work, too. Think of these other large corporations like pharmaceuticals and insurance companies. What kind of world would we have if they operated like that?

Besides, I go to work and I don’t receive vast profits. Give me a million dollars, I promise I’ll spend it.

My own ESP says you’ll thank me later…


Tags: , , , , ,

5 Responses to “Economic Stimulus Plan”

  1. Karen Says:

    I like your plan better than anything that was voted on in Washington. I heard on the news this morning that 1 in 5 people polled actually plan on spending any refund they may get.

  2. chrisfiore5 Says:

    hi Karen,

    good to see you again…

    yep, I think it is too little too late, but now at least they can say they did SOMETHING!

    tell you what, if they followed MY plan and I got a million… I’d share it with you. We could go on a big spending spree!

    all for the benefit of the taxpayers, of course…


  3. Kat Says:

    We need to get a president in office who is not invested in the oil industry…maybe then we’d get the ball rolling down the right bowling alley. Enjoyed your other posts as well – sorry, I don’t have time to go to each one to do individual comments. This whole moving thing has me going a bit insane.

  4. chrisfiore5 Says:

    hey Kat,

    well, I don’t know about the present candidates… we seem to be going from dumb to dumber. Who has the best sound bites? Who looks good on television?

    The issue is not who lifted what rhetoric from whose speech, but what is going to be done to make a positive impact on the American people?

    Thanks for dropping by, hope you get settled okay and preserve your sanity… what ever that is.


  5. Mattern Says:

    Regarding stimulus packages and the economy, where do you get the best grocery savings

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: