traffic jam

I was talking to my business partner, Hooch the other day about traffic jams.  We get a lot of those here in sunny S.W. Florida.  In fact I think we exceed what the law allows by about fifty car lengths.  I don’t know what it is, but EVERYBODY has a “stuck in traffic” tale to tell almost every hour, like an eye in the sky news camera.

I-75 is a notorious 35 mile long parking lot every week day morning and every week day night.  I don’t know how many times you hear about a van load of illegals veering out of control, a dump truck (a dump truck?) rear ending somebody or a concrete truck (a concrete truck?) flipping over.  For one thing, I thought pick up trucks full of workers in the back bed was against the law, but we see them every day.  Also, insurance doesn’t cover you if your passengers aren’t in a proper seat, but it happens all the time.  I wonder where law enforcement is while people are enjoying their morning commute, seems like we could increase local revenue if we just posted cops where the normal, day to day traffic flows (?) but then I guess that would be “profiling”.  I’m of the mind that if there is a law against it and people are breaking it then it should be okay to pull them over. 

Hooch made a good point about being stuck in traffic, so I have to give him credit for this entry.  He says since he has purchased his Nano, traffic jams have turned into, well… jams!  He doesn’t seem to mind them when he pumps up the volume and  air conditioning.  He is then free to watch the world at a stand still while rockin’ out to Coldplay or Los Lonely Boys.   

But to me there is a big difference in wanting to get somewhere while being impaired somehow by other commuters and just wanting to get somewhere with the convertible top down and getting “comfortably numb” with Pink Floyd.  It is not that I am impatient with other drivers,  I just get frustrated by their lack of empathy.  There is no courtesy among these people, it is like all the Geico cavemen are out there behind the wheel and we are in an amusement park playing bumper cars.  And why is it that if there is a merge lane approaching people have to jump into the other lane a quarter of mile back? 

Don’t even get me started on the tourists…

Late last night I was toolin’ down the highway, had the top down and was jammin’ with some tunes.  Almost every light I hit was green, the traffic was fairly mild and I was really enjoying the night air.  I pulled up to a red light (first in line!) and eased over into the turning lane and sat waiting for the arrow.  Then some teenagers pulled up along side of me with an older model Mustang convertible in need of a muffler.  We began to chat back and forth…

Young kid:  “How fast does it go?”

Me:  “Pretty fast!”

Young kid:  “How many horsepower?”

Me:  “I forget!”

Young kid:  “4.6 liter?  5 liter?”

Me:  “I dunno… it’s a V-6.”

Young kid, revving his engine: “Looks good…”

Me:  “Thanks… your light’s green.”

He looks up then turns back at me and smiles, his buddies wave as they take off…

Traffic jams… the way it was meant to be, and well worth the drive.



4 Responses to “traffic jam”

  1. babychaos Says:

    I usually get “Nice Car” from small boys on skateboards as they whizz past me at high speed!



  2. babychaos Says:

    PS, obviously while I’m in traffic jams, I mean, I go faster than a skateboard when I’m driving.

    Oh and while I’m here. Thanks for posting Comfortably Numb. This morning I was massively cranky, the most miserable bag on earth! So I boot up the PC to start work, go to my feedy thing and there’s your post, with my favourite song of all time ready to play. All of a sudden I don’t feel like a miserable bastard any more! So thank you hooooooogly for posting that one.

    That said I’m seething with jealousy because you get to cruise around with the top down at this time of the year. So traffic aside, here in windy, rainy old Blighty you need goggles and a flying helmet to take the lid off in the summer… let alone around now… You lucky, lucky, LUCKY bleeder!

    Peace to you…


  3. freevolition Says:

    Only traffic jam I ever see is when a tractor with a 30-foot (+/-) toolbar is creeping down the 2-lane road. 😉

    Hooch?! Funny!

  4. Keith Edwards Says:

    It could be worse, trying living in the UK, on the country roads you get stuck behind tractors going 10mph, but you can not overtake because it is single carriageway and then on the main roads, they are often so busy that cars are having to queue on the motorway! which then brings the whole motorway to a stand still!.

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