the day before Christmas Eve

Yesterday was a cold reminder of how fragile life really is…

We (Annette and I) were heading back to Cape Coral from Titusville on the Beeline (Florida 528) when she alertly spotted an accident off of the highway right in front of us.  Several cars immediately pulled off to the shoulder to render assistance but Annette insisted we pull over, too.  Which I did, reluctantly.  So many times you just want to move on and assume that the “others” that are there will handle the situation better or faster than you could.  Not the case this time.

A single car accident, a young man in his early 20’s… nobody knew why his late model Honda veered off of the busy highway, sideswiped a information pole’s foundation and flipped over on it’s top.  But when I had initially pulled over we were adjacent to an oncoming ramp so as Annette jumped out of the car to run back, I sat wondering how safe it was to leave the car where it was.  Eyeing the approaching traffic through my rear view mirror (it was 5pm on a Saturday, everybody rushing home or out to do last minute Christmas shopping) and with the nose of my car right at the point of the ramp meeting the highway I decided to relocate off to the shoulder.  Ofcourse, traffic started to slow and bottle neck, people either trying to avoid the scene and change lanes or just try to figure out what had happened.  Minutes passed and I sat wondering what to do next.  I hate standing around gawking with my hands at my sides, but at the same time I knew Annette (who is a nurse) would be trying her best to render aid and may need my help.  So I turned on my emergency flashers and went back to the side of the highway where the accident had occurred.  By then several people were there, one young woman was on a cell phone talking to the 911 operator while Annette was in the middle of giving CPR.  She was declaring the visual vital stats of the victim while another man was trying to breathe air into his lungs.  Moments later I could hear sirens in the distance and relief flooded my body,  our public servants to the rescue.  

Soon the firemen took over, Annette moved back and brushed the mud from her knees.  It had been an off and on drizzlin’ rainy afternoon, which may had helped in causing the car to crash.  I never looked directly at the young man’s face, he was partially blocked by the man helping Annette give CPR.  I didn’t want to hover about like so many other watchers so when the police told us to stand back I did so without hesitation.  But I could see he was in bad shape and then I began to feel badly for him, his family and the others who might have loved him.  He was laying on that cold, wet ground alone while a group of strangers were trying to save his life.  

We left as the scene grew more stable, Annette was matter of fact about the whole thing and I marvelled at her calm through the ordeal.  She is usually fairly high strung and reactionary over the slightest irritation or frustration but yesterday I saw her in an entirely new light.  Composed, self-assured and in control, traits uncharacteristic of her in other stress related events we have encountered recently.  I was proud of her, and though the term seems over used since 9/11 she was  definitely a hero by anyone’s standards.

I don’t know if the young man survived, we were into less than 30 minutes of a 3 1/2 hour drive returning home.  On lookers and local news will have to tell the story’s finale.  Now looking back it almost seemed surreal as we settle into normalcy awaiting the Big C.  But we talked about it as we drove home, who knew that young man Annette briefly shook hands with?  who loved him, who even knew where he was at the time of his accident?  Did he leave somewhere after an argument with his girlfriend?  Did he tell someone he loved them that day?  Will he ever have that chance again?

I say “life is too short” a lot though it sounds cliche’.  Yesterday I realized it again.  So if you love someone, tell them and give them a hug.  If you are angry at someone, forgive them and move on.  If you doubt the reason why you exist, look around you.  Even in the face of despair there is hope in the promise of another day of life.  

For all it’s commercialism, pagan rituals, and gluttony Christmas really is a time to reflect on what God has given us if for no other reason than that…   taking the time to be thankful and acknowledging what we have been blessed with.  We all need reminders, I get it now… I hope you do, too.

peace.   

2006 … more space idiocy

Gee,  another Sunday.  Not much to write about today.  The news barometer on T.V.  says support of the war in Iraq is down but I understand the market is up, and that’s good.  Consumer confidence is up, but our security issues are seemingly not resolved meaning optimism for the future is down, and that’s bad.  Americans seem like looters after a major disaster, like after hurricane Katrina in New Orleans.  Remember seeing people stealing television sets while not having the electricity needed to plug them in?  Appeared idiotic to me, too much empty space between the ears.  Those individuals probably voted for the “N’ Awlins chocolate” Mayor Nagin, again.  But our mentality in the face of crisis is not always sound.  So this has been one of those good/bad years in 2006.  Guess you CAN have it both ways.

So what outstanding/disturbing events that happened in 2006  stand out in your mind?  Ofcourse, the sensational headlines are the usual attention grabbers… but lets do a stroll down memory lane… the good/bad in 2006.

The first thing I remember is the Super Bowl, or as most viewers saw it as a Super Rip-off, unless you were a Stealers fan.  I really had no preference, but I would have liked to have seen the greatest game of the season played without the Seahawks becoming the Seattle Albatrosses… officiating sucked worse in that game than in any I have witnessed,  and I know Pittsburg fans who have agreed with me…

Our solar system got a little smaller since the wise men axed Pluto.  Personally I didn’t see the harm in letting us stick with Plan 9 in outer space but when you are the smallest and the furthest away it is hard to garnish support, I guess.

Dick Chaney has a new job offer when he leaves the white house, as president of the NRA.  Remember ol’ trigger happy Dick?  only had a “few” beers…  good ol’ boy,  that one.

We found out the government has phone records on all of our conversations, which is kind of a bummer… invasion of privacy and all that.  Your next obscene phone call might be monitored.

We had the million immigration workers march, amazingly life pretty much went on… and your order at McDonalds was clearly understood.  Do you suppose INS noticed?  Probably not, I mean… thousands gathered together and nobody thought to card ’em?  a blown opportunity and another bummer.

We found out the nation can’t take a joke, botched or otherwise… and we found out what “macaca” means… and we didn’t get the joke or see any harm in it.

Mel Gibson meet Michael Richards.  Paris Hilton’s name shall not be mentioned here because she already gets too much coverage for being a bimbo and Britney… for gosh sakes cover up, yuck!

We reached 300 million people and didn’t have much ado about nothing.  G.W. Bush used his first veto in six years against stem cell research, he’s a real brainiac… ain’t he? I doubt he’ll be on the top of the list when we start duplicating remarkable people both past and present.  … not a bummer

It was a non-hurricane year here in Florida, but already they are saying don’t get complacent …  insurance rates need raising.  Warren Buffet gave away billions of dollars to charity, we could have used some of that here.  But gee, we still have the lottery.

Danish cartoons were the object of protest… I would guess those people are probably not much into The Far Side, either.

That Enron fella,  Kenneth Lay died before he could serve his debt to society.  My buddy Keith thinks that it was all a hoax, that Kenny is gettin’ his kicks on Route 66 or maybe in Costa Rica.  Keith is a conspiracy theorist.  He has a great idea for a book that I’m going to use someday because he won’t.

You know, there was all that political gay, gay political and religious stuff that happened but who really cares?  Nothing changes in government, just the perverts involved.  They have that fraternity thing going, and how about the financial rewards?  Did you know that a large portion of our tax dollars are spent for hundreds of thousands of dollars in retirement benefits per political figure for life?  It is said that if retiring politicians had to live on social security it would be fixed immediately.  It is a perversion of the governmental system.  We’ll talk more about that later…

We did get a new David Gilmour CD in 2006, and a new one by Paul Simon.  Proof that those with talent continue to create and entertain for the sheer joy of it.  I did see “Dead Man’s Chest” a few times and felt like a little kid again.  I went to Vegas and spent all my money so I must have had a good time.  Went back to Iowa in October and didn’t spend all that much but had an even better time.

So all in all… 2006?  you could have done better… but who am I to complain?  This blog started in 2006! 

…. a diamond in the rough perhaps?  naww 

nude clothiers

It’s not the DRESS that makes you look fat.  It’s the FAT that makes you look fat!   (Al Bundy, Married With Children)

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They say clothing makes the man (or woman) but you gotta wonder if that is true.  Recently I met a millionaire that drove a rusted out ’72 Datsun pick-up, wore beat up ol’ khakis shorts and a thread bare T-shirt.  Obviously not out to impress anybody, but what did impress me was his unassuming humility.  Why aren’t more people like that?  There is also another saying that goes “dress to impress” and it seems that more people take that to heart by living beyond their means, buying expensive jewelry and clothing that they can ill afford.  Then the attitude comes out, people thinking more of themselves than they should because of mere cloth.  Weird.

One of my former employers used to classify it as “new money” and “old money”.  People with new money were generally more impatient, looked for preferential treatment and always tried to get something for nothing.  People with old money were generally kinder, more reasonable and  less demanding.  It reminds me of one of my favorite Hans Christian Andersen tales:  The Emperor’s New Clothes.

This dude goes all out to dress to the nines and strut about his kingdom puttin’ on airs.  Which is kinda strange, I mean… he was a king, right? How much more admiration could he attain?  But I guess he wanted to continue to wow his subjects with his astute ability to select royal apparel. 

Well…   as the story goes, his clothier had just about run out of fresh ideas until he had this brainstorm.  The king would traipse around nude.  Since he was a monarch, no one would dare question his choice of threads, (or threadless as it were) and he would still sit atop the fashion world as a trendsetter.  As the king moved about his kingdom, all his subjects averted their eyes while oohing and aahing over the emperor’s new clothes.  All went well until an innocent child cried out something to the effect of… “Hey, the pervert’s naked!”  to which everyone began to laugh and the embarrassed (literally) king hurried back to his castle.

I’m not saying I don’t enjoy a nicely dressed person, someone who takes a little pride in their appearance.  But I hate the recent look of clothes made for a large person being worn by a 65 pound rail thin individual.  Clothes that need constant adjusting…  usually pulled up.  I imagine that fashion started with hand-me-downs from older siblings to younger, smaller ones.  Like Mr T wearing socks that didn’t match to show poor kids it was cool.  I think he just grabbed out of his sock drawer without paying attention,  got caught in public and needed an excuse. 

So I’m predicting nude clothiers aren’t too far down the road, I mean… we’ve just about run out of options for original fashion attire.  Fortunately for me (and everyone else)… I’ve never been one to follow the latest trends.

But I might if she’s cute…

when I’m 64 (more or less)

Paul McCartney is 64 and must be wondering if we still need him.  I imagine way back 40 years ago when he first asked that question 64 must have seemed a million miles away.  Now as past stars are aging and fading into rock and roll oblivion you gotta wonder, is this the way their grandparents felt when they were 64? 

They say now that 60 is the new 40.  There are commercials all over T.V. that tout the new generation as an older but still hip generation, but I’m not so sure.  First of all, the sixties were a time of “turn on. tune in. drop out”.  The rock anthem was anti-establishment and non-conformity.  It just was not cool to “sell-out” to capitalism.  The “new 40” may be just a sales pitch cause you are really just as old as you feel.  (or as pretty as you feel)  Can you imagine protesting the war driving around in a BMW?  Weird.

Gee, where have all the flower power children gone,  …long time passing? 

So , now… maybe the generation before wasn’t so out of touch after all.  I mean, weren’t they then pursuing the very things that the beat generation is being targeted for now?  You know, retirement things… security, health, family values, etc.?  Is it hard for them to hear the Who sing, “we won’t get fooled again” if in fact, they have?  Bummer.

We try to learn from our mistakes but they continually resurface in a new package and seem harmless to the inexperienced person.  Take smoking marijuana.  Reefer has been around for some time now, but really made head way (HEAD way, get it?) in the sixties.  Now it seems like everybody has tried it or at least knows somebody that has.  (remember Bill Clinton?)  It permeates the entertainment industry seemingly more like a prop than an illegal substance. 

Sadly, drug use has maintained a strong hold on the young people of today, but really the message of the sixties wasn’t about getting stoned and playing video games.  It was about questioning authority and where it was taking us, what direction were we heading in? could we change or challenge it?  was it what we wanted for future generations (the generation of now?)  Global warming and pollution were concerns back then, so was an unpopular war, alternative fuels and social injustice.  Smoking pot was incidental to the real issues of peace and love.

So, when I’m 64 (many years from now) I wonder what the world will be like much the way people today have wondered and people before them.  I’d like to think I’m growing wiser and more hip, not just maintaining my hip-ness and wisdom.  I will no doubt sit back and listen to the old songs and wonder why the kids today don’t respect their elders.  I guess respect has to be earned… hope I will have learned that before it is too late 

Now that sixties generation is them today,  now that generation is they, now that generation is questioning the future and young people are reluctant to hear and trust because the same re-treads are rolling past them careening towards a blow out.

When will they ever learn?

the illegal immigration solution, part 2

 ***Please note:  as with every on going commentary, there is a beginning.  To better understand “the illegal immigration solution” it is advised that the reader scroll back and read Part 1 first. 

.     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .      .     .     .     .        

7 billion dollars for a fence is no solution to the illegal immigration problem, it is a quick fix that has caused more controversy then comfort.  It is a situation that won’t be contained or repelled by chain link and barb wire. 

Mexico ranks 13th in the world’s economic climate.  13th!  Out of over 200 countries that puts it near the upper 5%!  Why are it’s citizens leaving?  Why are 63% of the children under 18 living in poverty?  In this 21st century, young people there cannot go to school and have to work, if they can find it.  Why does the United States care and take more responsibility than their own government?  We have given more aid and support to Mexico than any other country at any other time in our history.

Mexico produces more oil than Iraq and Kuwait, even more than Venezuela and Canada.  (2004 estimates) You would think a country with that kind of clout would have more resources for the betterment of it’s citizens.  But a corrupt government and a massive drug cartel holds it’s people hostage.

You can’t blame the poor, uneducated people for wanting a better life.  America has been the envy of the world and a border that is too easily crossed is no boundary at all.  But what if we put up the fence?  What if we threw the National Guard and its resources into border patrol rather than a losing proposition in Iraq?  Would the problem for the citizens of Mexico just go away? 

13 million oppressed people coming from one country should not be viewed as immigrants,  they are refugees.  There hasn’t been such an exodus since WWII.  The Mexican people love their country as much as we love ours, it is the political structure that hampers them.  With all the hoopla going on about the United Nations and one world government, why is there no intervention here? 

Obviously there is something wrong that the world, not just the U.S. needs to address. There should be a call to the Mexican government to account for such a travesty and betrayal of trust.

To be continued…

social insecurity

I received this little ditty in the mail the other day from my Uncle Sam.  It had a history of all the monies I had “contributed” to social security.  It spoke of being able to retire at age 62.  (a LONG time from now)  Reading this report didn’t really make me feel good about my financial status towards retirement.  How could anyone live on $33.50 a day?  in the future, my future.  (a LONG time from now?)

I wonder about the future sometimes; where we’ve been, where we are going… where the money’s gone.  I don’t know if I’d have saved that money (probably not) would I have invested it wisely (probably not) and would I have been in better shape today if I hadn’t been forced to contribute to a faulty institution? (probably)  Why? 

Well, look back on the programs of the past and trace their progress.  Has our society really benefitted regardless of how nobly they might have been promoted at the time?  And social security is a good idea, but I think way back prior to the establishing of the current Social Security system, the government should have taken it to the people and mulled it over with them.   It could have gone something like this:

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Uncle Sam:  Johnny, a penny saved is a penny earned.  On top of the interest the bank pays you for your initial investment, I’ll match all the money you put in until you reach the national average earnings for 5 years.

Johnny:  How will that help me now?

Uncle Sam:  It will teach you that if you want to get ahead in this world, you are going to have to get an education, get a job and work deligently towards your future.  Make a positive contribution to society and I will reward you. 

Johnny:  But why can’t you just give me the money now? 

Uncle Sam:  Well, Johnny… I’d like to, but human nature tells me that you’d just become a fat, lazy slob.  You’d never want to clean your room and you’d live at home until you were 35.  How would that aid in your future security?

Johnny:  I might be able to get something to eat now!

Uncle Sam:  Johnny, Johnny!  Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime!

Johnny:  Can’t you just print me up a bunch of money as I need it now?

Uncle Sam:  Now what legitimate institution on Earth would work that way?

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Don’t get me wrong I think the government should help in the promoting of good citizenry, but we the people have to do our part.  We have to work to help ourselves first.  If we start out walking on our own, we may stumble and fall a few times, but eventually we’ll get the hang of it. 

If we are carried everywhere we go, there would be no incentive to learn to walk.

sacred words sung to Beatles music

God said to Abraham, “Kill me a son.”

Abe said, “Man, you must be puttin’ me on!”

God said, “No.”     Abe said, “What?”

God said, “You can do what you want, Abe, but the

next time you see me comin’ you’d better run!”

Abe said,”Where do want this killin’ done?”

God said, “Out on Highway 61…”

(from Highway 61 Revisited by Bob Dylan)

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You know, just when I think I’ve heard it all something comes along that restores my faith in stupidity.  I was driving home and passed a church with the banner “Sacred Words Sung to Beatles Music” on it’s little marquee and I had to pull a u-turn just to pass by and re-read it to make sure I’d read it right the first time… and I had!  I have been a great opponent of God’s message being mixed with Rock and Roll but after seeing that I marvelled at the possibilities.  Here are a few I came up with…

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Oh yeah, I’ll pass you somethin’

I think you’ll understand…

when I pass that somethin’

I want the gold from your hand!

I want the gold from your hand,

just give the gold in your hand.

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So what do you think?  Not bad for my first effort, right?  Wait!  I’ve got another one…

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You think you lost His love,

well, I saw God yesterday.

It’s you He’s thinkin’ of

and He told me what to say…

He loves you! and you know that can’t be bad.

Yes, God loves you! and you know you should be glad! whoooo!

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Okay, maybe that one’s not as good as the first but I think I’m on a roll here.  See if you can catch the rift on this one.

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Jesus was a man who condemned self righteous stoners

but He knew it couldn’t last.

Jesus gave a meal that was called the Last Supper

once He’d done a 40 day fast.

Get saved!  Get saved!  get back to where you once belonged.

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Okay, okay… maybe that one sucked but let me try just one more…

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For the benefit of Jesus Christ

there will be a show tonight

on  T.V. screen,

the holy ones will all be there

hopin’ that you’ve come to share

your hard earned green!

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All right, I’ll stop now.  But does anyone besides me see the irony here?  John Lennon once said, “We’re bigger than Christ!”  Which in effect, they were at the time but the religious leaders of the day condemned the Beatles for that statement.  It was their own failings as leaders of the people that brought validity to that utterance and they couldn’t stand it.  

Which inspired John to write:

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Standin’ on the dock at South Hampton

tryin’ to get to Holland or France.

The man in the mac said, “You’ve gotta go back!”

You know they didn’t even give us a chance.

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Christ! you know it ain’t easy

you know how hard it can be?

The way things are goin’

they’re gonna crucify me!

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Funny how things get turned around, “Sacred Words Sung to Beatles Music”?  Almost worth the price of admission…

60 second sextillion

1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 or a thousand million million million.  Either way you look at it, a sextillion is a pretty big number.  Why should we be concerned about a sextillion?  Easy.

It is said there are about 70 sextillion stars out there in the known universe, give or take a couple of few sextillion.  That is a bunch by anyone’s calculation.  They say that is a number greater than all the granules of sand on the planet Earth’s deserts and beaches combined.  I’d hate to have been the guy that had to COUNT all those grains of sand.  Let’s just say there are people out there much more capable than me with a pair of tweezers and a magnifying glass.  And with more patience.  Can you imagine the guy counting being interrupted by his buddy?  Might have gone something like this.

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Bi-speckled smart guy with lab coat, tweezers and magnifying glass:  “61,123,456,789,123,345,678,9 and eleven.. 61,123,456,789,123,345,678,9 and twelve…  61,123,456,789,123,345…”

Bi-speckled smart guy’s not so bright assistant:  “Hey Joe! got a match?”

Bi-speckled smart guy with lab coat, tweezers and magnifying glass named Joe:   “Dang!” 

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But seriously folks, a sextillion is not a number to be taken lightly.  After all, the Earth is a mere 93 million light years away from the sun.  Not even a hundred million, less than 1/10 of a billion.  While the Earth itself weighs about 5.972 sextillion metric tons, there are only about 4 quintillion gallons of water on the Earth.  (4 with 18 zeros, less than 1 sextillion)  Small numbers compared to 70 sextillion.

By an amazing coincidence, (and you knew I was going to bring this up) the chances of someone else having the same genetic pattern as you is 1 out of 70 sextillion.  That’s like trying to find a match in a desert or a beach, though at any given time you could find cigarette butts galore.  I guess the point I’m trying to make is this; as vast as the universe is it pales to our own individuality… isn’t that something?

So while we are preoccupied by the simple toils of life, why not take a minute and gaze out at them stars?  Just 60 seconds, time enough to wonder at the glory and immensity of creation…  then remember this,  you are unique…  you are a star… 

shine on, you crazy diamond!

Who should play OSU for the National title?

I was struck by the accomplishment of USC this morning, despite their loss to UCLA yesterday.  To have played in 59 games and suffer only 4 losses is truly incredible,  a credit to the coaching staff and players.  I applaud the underdog, UCLA,  for pulling out a great upset.  Now the question is, who will face OSU in the National championship?  Michigan, with one loss ( against OSU) or Florida, with one loss ( against Auburn)?

Florida lost to Auburn early in the season (October) rallied to win the remainder of their games.   Michigan won all their games except the last one, ending their season with their only loss.  My computer says Michigan should play in the rematch because of their loss to #1 OSU.  Florida lost to #11 Auburn in October, who now finishes their season still ranked #11.   Besides, because of their loss USC will lose it’s #2 ranking.  It is doubtful Florida will jump from #4 to #2.  Michigan will move up from #3 to #2.  OSU #1 will play #2 Michigan.  Done deal.

In a perfect world, #1 would play #3 and #2 would play #4 and the winner of THOSE games would play for the National championship, but then the argument has been that these youngsters couldn’t handle the addition of another game to their already crammed schedule.  Which is true to the extent that these boys (average age 20) primarily enter school for an education, but then some enter the draft (average age 23) and the NFL schedule is for 16 games.  Which generally speaking, most rookies see little or no playing time but then some do.  So that argument comes with an asterisk.  Seniors entering the draft the following spring have the conditioning that 1 more game could aid in the transition to the big league.  But of course, one more game also adds the risk of injury and coming up with nothing.

Who would OSU rather play?  If you ask them they’ll say it doesn’t matter who they play but I think they’d rather play Florida for the psychological advantage.  Michigan has already played them and played well,  Florida has not.  Who will feel more apprehension?  Florida.  Who will have more emotion?  Michigan.  Who does OSU fear most?  Michigan, though they won’t admit it.

I like college football… a lot.   I was disappointed Iowa didn’t fair better, but that seems to be our lot in life, each year we get built up only to be let down.  I’d love to live to see us win the National championship, but I don’t think there are enough rings around any tree to allow that.  My NFL underdog team, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers,  did win the Super Bowl once so nothing is impossible.  But if I was to pick the winner of the rematch against OSU and Michigan I’d pick Michigan and that has to tweak a lot of OSU fans, but I always root for the underdog except in the case of Florida against OSU.  Sorry Gator fans, I live in Florida but my heart remains in the Big Ten.  I’m sure Ohio State would win that one. 

So c’mon BCS, prove me wrong… put OSU up against Michigan and let the rematch begin.  Either way,  that game would be a monster.

twinkies

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Twinkie, twinkie… little bar

how I wonder what you are.

Tightly wrapped in cellophane

preservatives flow through my brain.

Twinkie, twinkie… little bar

how I wonder what you are.

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It is amazing the foods we consume.  We really don’t know that much about them except that they taste good and are bad for us but what a sweet way to go.  Take the lowly Twinkie, created in 1930.  The ingredients have remained a closely guarded secret, but the rumors abound as to how and when they are/were made.

Twinkie shelf life is phenomenal, it is said that they can last 30 years without much change in taste and texture.  That means the wrapping would deteriorate long before the product would.  As a matter of fact, it is rumored that at one time in the begining of production the manufacturer muffed an order and made a billion of the little sponge cakes that we are still consuming today.

Way back in 1948 it is reported that one man began eating Twinkies and ate a least one twinkie a day there after.  Now 58 years later that is a total of over 20,000 twinkies in his life time and guess what happened to him?  Nothing.  It is thought that the preservatives will keep him alive indefinitely.

Twinkies have gotten a bad rap in the past.  Like remember the so called “Twinkie defense”?  That was the guy who said eating too many Twinkies caused him to commit his crime.  Or like saying eating too many Twinkies made a person fat.  (only 145 calories each, sheesh!)  Consumption to the exteme can cause unwanted effects in most carb based foods, not just Twinkies.  Duh.

Twinkies have been placed in time capsules and used as an art form.  Twinkies have been featured foods at fairs, restaurants and little kids lunch boxes.  They have been the brunt of fat jokes and used as movie props.  There are web sites dedicated to them. There have even been scientific experiments performed on these little guys and to what conclusion? 

People eat them because they taste good, that’s all we need to know.

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If I had a Twinkie

I’d eat it in the morning

I’d eat it in the evening

all over this land.

Homogenized creme filling

and Yellow dye 11,

I’d eat about a dozen between

my brother and my sister

all over this land.