job approval

Life sucks and you gotta work.  Is that pretty much how you feel about it, grasshopper? 

I guess I am fortunate in the fact that I enjoy what I do for a living, being strictly blue collar, that is.  I’m not really in tune with the corporate world, I don’t sell time shares or air time… I use tools and generally seem to make a difference in my small field of expertise.  But if I had to do it over again?  here are some jobs that might be really cool.

1) President of the United States.  Where else could you hover around a 38% job approval rating and still get paid?  Pretend you are a plumber… 

“Lets see, George… 62 out of 100 toilets that you supposedly fixed last month didn’t flush,  now the (expletive deleted) is going to hit the fan!”

2) Secretary of Defense.  Where else could you go “oops!” when you get caught mingling your intelligence information to suit your needs and still keep your job?  Pretend you are a carpenter…

“Let’s see, Don…  the blueprint shows that the trusses for this job need to point up and you’ve inverted them!  I’ve never heard of a droop ceiling before but with the circumstances being what they are we’ll just have to stay the course regardless of what the homeowner thinks.”

3) Vice President of the United States.  Where else could you go about your business as usual and still be a vital part of the integral, unbiased realm of commerce?  Pretend you are an air conditioning repairman…

“Gee, Dick… I’ve repeatedly sent you out to fix Miss Jones air conditioner but she says you never show up.  Now my supply house bill says you’ve been purchasing several parts that I haven’t been able to bill because I don’t have a job ticket for them.  Your net worth continues to rise while my company is going broke, how ’bout me going to work for you?” 

4) Secretary of State.  Where else could you travel abroad, make speeches, interpret someone else’s intentions as being noble and for the common good with out any fear of  content or reprisals?  Pretend you are a garbageman (waste management technician)…

“Whoa, Condi! The hopper on your truck has malfunctioned strewing trash up and down the street, people are complaining that their pick up times are inconsistent with the posted schedule, the landfill stinks and is to the point of overflowing!  By the way, nice shoes!” 

5)  News anchor.  Where else could your credibility be based  on popularity rather than accuracy?  Now the story is a sound bite, slanted politically and dressed rehearsed for ratings rather than for genuine news value.  Pretend you are an auto mechanic…

“Wow, Katie!  We’ve been getting a lot of traffic in here lately and it is all because of your charm, personality and good looks!  which is great because we are paying you a bunch of money.  It’s not important that you don’t know what a left handed monkey wrench is, these people love it!  But it seems we’re not doing the high end repairs we used to be getting, guess we’ll just turn ourselves into a swifty lube!” 

Help unwanted.  No inexperience necessary. You need not be president to win.  Some secret assembly required.  No shoes, no shirt, no english.  Inquire without.  Equal opportunity deployment.   

I love my job.  

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